14 Days in the Land of Enchantment - Day 11

Day 11 – Fearing Fear

We’ve been attending the Albuquerque Film Festival over the last several days. Like most of these, you see some really great independent films as well as those that fall in the category of “valiant efforts.”

One movie of particular note was The Highest Pass, a documentary chronicling the journey of seven Americans who take a motorcycle expedition lead by a modern yogi and guru up the highest passes of the Himalayas in Northern India.

The film captures the many physical and logistical difficulties the riders encounter including the frenetic traffic of overloaded trucks, the icy edges of narrow cliffs, flooded roads, altitude sickness and a mountain pass that is only open three months of the year.

But the film’s real power comes from the psychological and spiritual difficulties the riders overcome. Their emotional transformation is compelling to watch as they take guidance from their yogi along the way.

For me, the most thought provoking parts of the film come when they deal with fear. The yogi tells them that fear is the emotion that keeps us from living. We can only move on if we push through this wall to get to the other side. For most, that requires a leap of faith.

“Only the one that dies, truly lives,” instructs the yogi.

The riders come to learn that pushing beyond fear liberates them and gives them a chance to experience a higher life. With each breakthrough, the next time becomes easier. You just learn to trust that you’ll be okay.

I can identify with that in small and large ways. Remember that first time you took-off on a bike, liberated from your training wheels? You move beyond your fear of falling, your balance somehow becomes right and you elatedly take off.

It’s a skill you take with you from that moment on. “It’s like learning to ride a bike,” we say.

And then there are times in our life when we take our emotional two-wheeler for a spin. For me it was learning not to wait until things are perfect before I let myself enjoy life.

I’d tell myself – “In two more years I’ll have my degree and then I’ll be set.” “I need to have my career in order before (fill-in the blank).”

Sure, these are great goals but does it have to be all or nothing? What was I afraid of? Some goals become an excuse.

I can’t remember what triggered the breakthrough but I know it was a conscious decision. I found myself doing things like buying two season tickets to the symphony. I need to be in a relationship first before I do that. Don’t I?

The reality was it gave me the chance to invite friends and family as my guest. I could connect with them, not as the gang from work or the entire clan but as individuals.

It was to one of those concerts that I invited the Mrs. for our first date. Could a never-married, childless bachelor find love with a Ph.D. with two twenty-something kids? That’s not the way it was supposed to happen, or was it? In my case, it’s lead me on a path to great joy (at least most days).

It’s the fear of fear that prevents us from living. But it’s the decision to push beyond that will take us to the highest pass (especially when it plays out on the big screen).