It's the perfect set-up. Just clear some space in the dining hall, dim the fluorescent lights and turn down the Musak. Then wheel them all in and line 'em up.
I'm thinking the performance should start about 20 minutes after meds. Nothing like getting them liquored up with a little Prozac & Malox cocktail before showtime.
I'll start with the musical theatre, always a mainstream favorite. Norita, the retired music teacher, can provide piano accompaniment. The piano's likely out of tune so it won't matter if I am too.
Probably launch the season with the role of Harold Hill in the Music Man. The extravaganza would include a rousing finale --
26 Trombones (not sure if I can get them to do the full 76). Imagine a parade of walkers and wheelchairs, right here in Rehab City.
Next, I'll launch my full tour de force as the Emcee in Cabaret (the crotch-grabbing Alan Cummings version, not the Joel Grey one). That would be followed by Che in Evita. Don't cry for me you ungrateful sons and daughters. Momma's on the marquee.
Then, when I have them hooked, I'll branch out into more dramatic roles. I'm thinking of doing a male version of Wit but with prostate cancer instead.
I'd close the season with one of the classics that will showcase my full range, Taming of the Catheter. I don't think the Bard would object to a little adaptation, "Tush! tush! Fear orderlies with unlubricated tips."
Still working on the concept but one thing's for sure -- there won't be a dry seat in the place.
I'm going to be in the first row leading the yells for an encore! I promise I won't be offended when you look at my and say, "thanks Jeanine!". I'll just smile and refill your Ensure cocktail.
ReplyDeleteI have dibs on Evita. And, dang, now I can't get that song out of my head. Appropriate post considering the past couple of weeks I've had.
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